雪候鸟 发表于 2014-8-14 09:38:38

初为LY的那些糗事(二)

书接上文~~~~~几个月后,客户又来了,哇卡卡,激动有木有,兴奋有木有?千万再别遇上上次的极品了。嗯,好像漏了什么?对了,最重要的是老板你千万要跟我安排啊!呵呵,放心,LY们,我工作如此勤奋,他怎么会忘了我呢?于是,又是吃饭,洗脚,回宾馆。这次,没有等那么久,十点半,脚步声响起。我的房间在楼道的第一间,妈的,这次一定要先下手,管他客户部客户。我开门,靠,上次那个小周估计也认出了我,内心有愧一样,居然躲楼道口边假装说“你看不见我,你看不见我”。我说:“小周,别躲了,今天我不点你。”我这次点了各稍微嫩点的,也是20岁的样子,可她们的身材视乎都那么矮小,穿着衣服的样子也跟那 种“今晚八点三十分,阿莲故事。。。。。”里的MM一样。什么?你想问罩杯?有就不错了,还杯个屁啊!悲剧还差不多。我满以为这次怕是要有个愉快的晚上,于是,我主动提出,包Y!奶奶的,搞舒服!可我不知道的是,这次又是一次奇葩的开始。
MM一进来,身高大概有157的样子,比上次略高一点。但外形差一点。这里说一下,很多时候我们在选秀的时候总觉得不错,那是挑花了眼,而且有时候选的时候处于礼貌也好,出于害羞也好,往往不怎么往深处看,没有想象到真的要ML的时候的样子,可真正到了正式的时候,我草,怎么雀斑啊,牙擦苏啊,皮肤粗糙啊等等等等毛病都出来了。这是很正常的。这个MM倒还爱干净,先提出洗澡,我问可以一起洗不,她说,你愿意就一起洗嘛。废话,孙子才不愿意呢。洗的时候,大家别鄙视我,也别骂我,我自曝自己比较喜欢共同娱乐的,我帮她洗,妹妹没有拒绝。洗好以后,上床,但她们好像都是一个模子刻出来的,就不让你摸她小MM,夹着你不让玩动作。这样失去了好多乐趣。很快,十五分钟后,我缴枪了。说到这里,我一直为自己诟病,我因为经验少,实在不知道什么样的时间算及格或是比较不错,反正一小时肯定是猛男,那半小时也许算对得起欲女,十五分钟算不算及格我就不知道了。然后就中场休息,我一直欣赏友人在聊这样的话题的时候告诉我,在中场休息的时候一般是总结上半场经验,讨论以往战术。可我总是没有碰到这样的事。这个时候,奇葩的事终于来了。她说她饿了,出来的时候没吃饭。我很有风度,你想吃什么,我帮你叫吧。她说,想吃酸辣粉。我想,又不贵,几块钱,无所谓。就让她叫了一碗来,从这里就可以看出她业务有多熟悉,连送酸辣粉的送机号房都知道,我却还不知道这些,哎。。。。她吃着酸辣粉,奇葩就来了。对我说,你帮我看看我的手机是什么毛病,开不了机了。拿出了她的经典国产华为手机,大得可以砸扁你们的DD,信不?于是,她边吃边看电视,我作为客人,在一旁不断打开后盖检查,插卡拔卡,最后重新格式化,启动。捣鼓了一个小时,终于把手机给她整好了。来吧,啥也别说了,下半场上场。可总觉得下半场的激情少了,最恼火的是,那酸辣粉的生姜蒜水味道熏得哥啊~~~~,早知道就让这女的吃颗口香糖了。搞好后,她说马上就走,我说,这才多久啊,再玩玩吧,我还主动给了她两百小费。可她说,你包Y就这样,两火,不信你问别人,都是这样的。一副童叟无欺的样子。哎~~~,星爷说得对,怎么都是一场买卖。算了,为了不让人家瞧不起,送人走吧。我转身一看,咦?怎么床上有血呢?喂,等下,MM,你这是。。。。。?MM慌张地说,妈的,见鬼,长辈来了。我说,好家伙,你这闹得,我还专门给你小费,可你把哥给冲得那叫一个外焦里嫩啊。她说,我也不知道今天来啊。一副委屈的样子。算了算了,你走吧,算哥倒霉。送她走人。我这心里跟吃了只苍蝇一样难受。像个小工一样吧手机给她修好,还居然没收修理费,靠。
别急,如果你以为这算完了,那还没有呢。奇葩的来了。这里先介绍一下,我在这次以前的一个月去内蒙旅游,在一家宾馆因为晚上有蚊子,我被叮了后,抠破了皮,碰巧我又是过敏性的皮肤,汗水都容易把皮肤咬烂的那种。早上退房,宾馆以我抠破皮肤沾了血点子在床单上,要我赔偿床单费两百,否则不放人走。当时跟老板在一起,本着小事化了,多一事不入少一事的原则,算了,爷爷我认了。回来后,多少心里有阴影了,碰上这个MM的这档事,万一明天退房,宾馆要我又赔床单怎么办,钱是小事,老板要是知道,会跟他们理论,找个什么货色来给我兄弟啊,到时候给客户看见也不好。怎么办呢?我把床单拿到卫生间,把有血的地方用香皂给搓了干净!够狠吧,别笑,你还没看到高潮。奶奶的,这床单湿的万一明天还是有话说怎么办?于是,十月的宾馆里,空调开上,对着床单,然后脱掉衣服躺在了床上。。。。。。一个钟头以后,用自己的体温把床单彻底烤干了。血点子也没有了!。。。。。。好了,你们笑吧!

abchy 发表于 2014-8-14 12:57:20

兄弟。你太有才了!:lol:lol:lol

发表于 2017-2-2 11:00:01

兄弟!你受委屈了!

2h9oku 发表于 2018-5-26 03:12:29

全球最大的在线翻录音乐网站YouTube-mp3.org 被告了 2018年05月26日2018/5/26 3:12:32
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nsv6ml 发表于 2018-5-30 06:53:42

“绿委”的闹和蔡英文的恼(图)2018年05月30日2018/5/30 6:53:37
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虎其齐 发表于 2018-6-5 03:14:43

海洋大学献唱孤独症孩子2018年06月05日2018/6/5 3:14:32
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r8moxd 发表于 2018-6-5 17:55:26

86%台湾青年想创业 高达44%“战死沙场”2018年06月05日2018-6-5 17:38:37
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list.mp3.baidu.com/songlist/534478701

xmizlg 发表于 2018-6-10 08:23:49

上海计划“十三五”期间调整重点区域50个 持之以恒调整“三高一低”产业2018年06月10日2018/6/10 8:23:45
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kgdlrv 发表于 2018-6-11 09:56:53

中科院院士葛均波 航班上急救美国乘客2018年06月11日2018/6/11 9:56:32
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nkxjl 发表于 2018-6-12 09:42:14

梦见自己洗澡,详解周公解梦好不好
梦见自己洗澡  代表着近期定有好消息。  做生意的人梦见自己洗澡  说明了你近期的财运很好,脚踏实地做事,财运佳。  女性梦见自己洗澡  预示你将要出远门,有些小状况时尚星人,无妨,可平安。梦见自己洗澡  梦见洗澡  工作运势佳,是该做全面及通灵性的考量而不要集中在单一处,善用你优异的直觉与判断力,找到最适合你发挥的工作  女性梦见洗澡  主旅行,解释:能交到新朋友,一切顺利。  求学者梦见洗澡  预兆考试成绩不佳。  未婚男女梦见洗澡  主近期爱情运势:不能盼望过高,注意对方真正底宝宝起名细。    梦见女人洗澡  健康状况不佳。  男人梦见女人洗澡  则近期写字楼风水运势运程:先凶后吉。好运气比坏运气晚来一些。凡事无法当场见效,马上成功。  体力劳动者梦见女人洗澡  则健康方面:需要特别注意饮食卫生,否则你的肠胃可能会出状况,过分兴奋还可能会引起头痛头晕的症状。    梦见妻子洗澡  在爱情方面,运势有好转的倾向。这个时候,最好多看一些文艺作品,不要光看漫画书。商标起名  求学者梦见妻子洗澡  则考试成绩:非常适合参与朋属蛇和什么属相最配友的聚会或社交活动,不论是熟识的或新交的朋友,都会很欢迎你的,只不过是想立刻找到能够有实质性帮助的朋友,不大可能,只能算做是在做伏笔了,为将来的事业做准备  未婚男女梦见妻子洗澡(算命)  预兆您的爱情:恋情变得复杂。容易和多个异性扯上感情关系,往往是周旋其中,疲于奔命,但是难有所得。让自己的恋爱心境沉静下来,很有必要。  商人梦见妻子洗澡  主财运:财运开始回落。功利性的应酬增多使开支增加,但是往往另外的投资增值机会。也算是物有所值。    梦见情人一起洗澡  财务运势虽然算不上很好,但心灵的快乐不是金钱可以取代的,可以朝着自己的目标去做,而且可以完成  创业者梦见情人一起洗澡  预兆近期财运方面:财运继续低迷,财富多以助人为多,投资容易受到心情影响而亏损。  单身的人梦见情人一起洗澡  预示着在爱情方面:恋情不稳定,您的言语易被异性误会。情侣间往往因为观念不同而发生口角,选择主动退让,可让你们减少一些摩擦。











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